With no colors, how will President Illiterate know it's safe?
Recommendations are being made to get rid of, or at least overhaul the Department of Homeland Insecuritys color-coded system after extensive research showed that only one American benefitted from it: Short-Bus George. Seems that since he's not a "fact-checker", he never quite knew whether all those words put together in ... sentences and stuff meant anything, and since Boyfriend-killing Barbie could not always be there to help, well colors were just perfect!
Red - bad, can I give that money back to the Saudis quietly?;
Orange - make the police work overtime, but don't pay them for it;
Yellow - Let Johnny Asscrack chase the porno distributors;
Green - ummm, call Karl or Unka Dick and have something blown up.
Well, it seems that as with all good things....they want to change the system (consultants at work here?) to be more "meaningful".
A new report prepared for Congress says the color-coded national terrorism warning system is too vague, lacks specific protective measures for law enforcement and costs an extraordinary amount to be implemented.
...
Seattle Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske said the system was a "good initial step" after the September 11 attacks, but he and other police chiefs want "more specificity" about the nature of the threat.
"It does need to be overhauled," he said. "People want confidence in their public safety professionals to be on top of this issue, and right now this isn't the system getting us there."
...
The report says the federal government should consider offering better guidance to state and local law enforcement about protective measures that should be taken when the warning system is raised.
It also says the DHS should devise a new plan on how to communicate with law enforcement nationwide. For instance, it cites a police chief in Portland, Maine, who once learned from CNN that the threat system was going to be raised.
"He added that he received official notification from state authorities eight hours later," the report says.
Well yeah, they had to get permission from everyone in the 1600 Crew from Unka Dick to Ashley Snee to tell them, I'm sure. It's only Maine, and if it had been any other state it would have been longer (Kennebunkport is there, after all). But since President 100° Runner was in the bathtub, cooling off with his rubber-ducky and playing with his squirt gun, they're lucky they heard at all...
posted by Jo Fish on 08.12.03 at 08:00 PM
Comments:
Did someone take away W's box of crayons?
posted by: Shag from Brookline on 08.13.03 at 07:00 AM [permalink]