The terrorists plan and carry out a devastating strike against our country. Preznit Fuzzy Thinking launches into action fresh from his 100th day of vacation in 2001. He continues to read a book about Goats to Kids and then proceeds to spend the next 24 hours doing what he did for his entire National Guard career: Hiding out. Then whipping up everyone's fear level to just short of a declaration of Martial Law, he reluctantly appoints a commission to "look into" the whole 9/11 debacle. Today they hand him the report.

Citing multiple failures across the government to detect and prevent the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist plot, the bipartisan commission investigating the attacks today called for the appointment of a new high-level intelligence chief and the establishment of a national counterterrorism center to help overcome deep institutional failings and deal with the likelihood of another major terrorist assault.

President Bush, presented with a copy of the report at the White House this morning, said he would study the panel's "very constructive recommendations." But he did not immediately commit his administration to any fundamental changes.

Sorry, didn't mean to sugar coat it like that.