Thursday, February 2, 2006

Unreal

We now have a new standard for truthiness in this country:

n response to the Democrats' complaints, Republicans and the administration's top intelligence officials said the real problem was leaks about N.S.A. eavesdropping and other classified matters.
So, illegal activity is not wrong as long as only the people breaking the law know about it. Wow. How Iran-Contra.

Oh, wait, it's mostly the same people recycled for a do-over because they fucked up that whole Orwellian gubmint-secrecy thing the first time around.

If Monica had never met Linda, there would have been an extra 70 million bucks to waste in Mess O'Potamia or for tax cuts. Damn the republican fucktards have to be kicking themselves over that waste of cash now.

posted by Jo Fish at 07:01 PM | Comments (6)



Clueless

Remind you of anyone?

But when asked why Mr. Bush had not called on the public to sacrifice to reduce oil consumption, Samuel W. Bodman, the energy secretary, said in a conference call with reporters on Wednesday that "many Americans believe they're already sacrificing by paying the prices they're paying for gasoline and heating oil and natural gas."
Let them Eat Cake!

posted by Jo Fish at 06:53 PM | Comments (4)



Bunnypants 'Murka

I guess that the less-is-more, war-is-peace crew residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and up on Capitol Hill have decided that well, if you can't lie well, then just lie. Here's Medicare and other entitlement reform:

The House yesterday narrowly approved a contentious budget-cutting package that would save nearly $40 billion over five years by imposing substantial changes on programs including Medicaid, welfare, child support and student lending.

With its presidential signature all but assured, the bill represents the first effort in nearly a decade to try to slow the growth of entitlement programs, one that will be felt by millions of Americans. Women on welfare are likely to face longer hours of work, education or community service to qualify for their checks. Recipients of Medicaid can expect to face higher co-payments and deductibles, especially on expensive prescription drugs and emergency room visits for non-emergency care. More affluent seniors will find it far more difficult to qualify for Medicaid-covered nursing care.

College students could face higher interest rates when their banks get squeezed by the federal government. ... State-led efforts to force deadbeat parents to pay their child support may also have to be curtailed.

Yesterday's 216 to 214 vote, largely along party lines, gave a much-needed boost to President Bush, who is trying to reassert his control over domestic policy despite a series of legislative setbacks and near-record-low approval ratings.

I'm not sure what metric the Post is using to show that Preznit Plutonian Polls is getting a lift from by the passage of this legislation, maybe they just overheard Ken Mehlman remarking about that as he was sucking down Vienna Sausages at a media-only social.
The impact of the bill on the deficit is likely to be negligible, slicing less than one-half of 1 percent from the estimated $14.3 trillion in federal spending over the next five years.
...
"I do not know how anyone can say with a straight face that when we voted to cut spending in December to help achieve deficit reductions, we can now turn around a short while later to provide tax cuts that exceed or cancel out the reduction in spending," Sen. George V. Voinovich (R-Ohio) said yesterday, as the Senate took up a procedural motion that would allow tax-cut negotiations to begin. "We cannot afford these tax cuts."
What's this? A GOoPer not cheering as the 1600 Crew flushes our economic future down the tubes? Voinovich is now officially-as-hell off the 1600 Crew Holiday Card list for 2006.

When the bills for all this come due, it's going to be interesting to see how many people you meet will actually admit to having voted for these idiots. Because shame is transferrable, and no one wants to admit they could have been this stupid, residents of the The Corner excepted.

posted by Jo Fish at 06:29 PM | Comments (2)



Tuesday, January 31, 2006

SOTU Translator, 2006 Edition

Back again for another run at the jungle gym, Preznit 39 Percenter revs up another paen to the offended minorties, the utterly clueless and the people paying his bills. So here again are his "Outside Words, and his "Inside Words"...

Tonight we are comforted by the hope of a glad reunion with the husband who was taken from her so long ago, and we are grateful for the good life of Coretta Scott King.
There I said it, I couldn't see up Condi's dress tonight to see if she wore her special panties, the ones with no middle.
In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger.
Debate? Discourse? Jesus, they must think I'm a chump. A shame about that servant-boy, whatzizname? Oh yeah, Delay. Well, we've got another one to cut them obstructionists off at the knees this year.
On September 11th, 2001 ...
He He He, said it.
No one can deny the success of freedom, but some men rage and fight against it.
Let's see, I need both hands for this; Sammy, Dick, Fat Tony, Clarabel-er, Clarence, Dougie, Jerry, Al, Yoo (who?), Harriet, Ari, Scott, Bill, Tom, Denny, Jack, Pat, Jerry, Ralph, that little Coburn Fella, Rush, and of course, Karl. Freedom. Huh, what is it good for? Absolutely, nothing. Note to self, after I french kiss Joe this year, see about getting music for that.
We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it.
PATRIOT Act, bitches. I own you!
We remain on the offensive in Afghanistan
Oh I hope I used my outside words, I hope I didn't say we find them brown folks over there smelly and offensive again. Karl's gonna be pissed if I used those inside words again. Heh Heh Heh, but I do find them offensive.
In less than three years, that nation has gone from dictatorship, to liberation, to sovereignty, to a constitution
And the best part is that none of these dumb-asses out here realize that in three years we have gone from a Constitution, Sovereignty and Liberation to a Dictatorship right here in 'Murka. I rock, oh, I'm doing a happy dance with Condi tonight after the lump takes her Xanax.
The road of victory is the road that will take our troops home.
Yeah, but not before I stuff a few more billion in Dick's old company. Gotta remember to ask him about my check.
With so much in the balance, those of us in public office have a duty to speak with candor.
And you thought NSA was monitorin' some terrarists, no been listenin' to you whiners...we've got the scaffolds bein' built now for some good ol' Texas Rope Partys.
Our men and women in uniform are making sacrifices – and showing a sense of duty stronger than all fear.
And I know about fear, I raised twins and stained my undies everytime I hadda do a midnight feedin' cause the lump was stoned and Momma wouldn't come over. Thank Jesus for the Air Force Postal Service and that job in Alabama.
In recent years, you and I have taken unprecedented action to fight AIDS and malaria, expand the education of girls, and reward developing nations that are moving forward with economic and political reform.
No I didn't. But I'm so far along that by now Chris Matthews has talked about the size of my unit after landing on the carrier at least twice, and that I boldly mentioned 9/11. Gotta have him over for a Q. He's got such a pretty mouth.
So tonight, I ask you to join me in creating a commission to examine the full impact of Baby Boom retirements on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.
Brownie did a heckuva job, wonder if he's available to chair that. Note to Karl, check.
We will strengthen Health Savings Accounts – by making sure individuals and small business employees can buy insurance with the same advantages that people working for big businesses now get.
He He He, those Wall Street donations are coming in already. So we fucked up Social Security for them. We'll win this one because no one, even me undertands what the hell this is all about. Oh sweet charity, it's beginning at home. Show me the Money Wall Street!
We must also change how we power our automobiles.
Hope that pig-farmer Grassely is happy now. There's for his damn ethanol, whatever that is, he keeps goin' on about.
So we strive to be a compassionate, decent, hopeful society.
Happy Dance, used compassionate. Love it!
Human life is a gift from our Creator – and that gift should never be discarded, devalued, or put up for sale.
Except when I get to strap'em to a gurney. Oooh, Snap! Love it!
A hopeful society expects elected officials to uphold the public trust.
I know those pictures are in the shredder, did it myself while Condi gave me a special massage wearing those special boots...
Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America.
They buy that every year. I can't believe it. Okay, I'm out of here to slip Holy Joe a little Preznitial Tongue on my way to my booty call!

Mars, Bitches!

posted by Jo Fish at 09:23 PM | Comments (6)



Monday, January 30, 2006

Chutzpah

is a call I just got from the DNC looking for money.

I don't think so.

Wankers.

posted by Jo Fish at 09:21 PM | Comments (6)



bin Laden Determined to Attack the US

Remember that? For all the years of the North American Bunnypants Terror Alert System, it's the one phrase that the republicans most fear hearing, because it points to the beginning of their glaring incompetance at figuring out what's going on around them. Besides the ruinous tax cuts, totally fucked up medicare "reform", the endless war in Mess O'Potamia, the lacksadaisical and uncaring response to Katrina, what have the 1600 Crew done for you lately?

Hmmmm, polluted the air, caved to every lobbyist in the K-street project who wanted legislation passed, fired scientists, larded virtually every position from Customs and Immigration to FEMA with cronies. Yeah, they're pretty amazing alright.

So, last week when Hamas won the election in Palestine, the 1600 Crew and Condi the Utterly Incompetant had to go off on how they were not going to support Hamas, and how they never saw the Hamas victory coming. Sez KindaLyin Rice, right as she removes the splinters of Preznit Magnolia Prosthesis from her mouth:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Sunday the United States would not provide financial assistance to a Palestinian government run by Hamas, the radical Islamic group that won last week's parliamentary elections.
What the Dominatrix of Diplomacy fails to realize is that by failing to work with the Hamas leadership to help stabilize the region whether it takes aid or not, she is setting up a far more volatile situation than exists now. Her statement is idiotic on it's face...if we were so hard over on not working with regimes that are innately hostile to the US and our allies, we would not be doing any business in the People's Republic of China. None, Zero, Zilch. They are after all to use Incompetent-O-Leeza's words:
"The United States is not prepared to fund an organization that advocates the destruction of Israel, that advocates violence,"
Gee, just substitute "Taiwan" for Israel there, and see how that works out. We might not send the PRC direct US government aid, but we don't need to, we have Gi-normous American companies sending their dollars over instead. Gee. How amazing.

So, what's the downside of not paying the inevitable Piper of Palestine?

Western donors funneled about $900 million into the Palestinian Authority in 2005 _ including $400 million from the United States _ to pay salaries and finance desperately needed infrastructure projects. Failure to pay the 137,000 people on the Palestinian Authority payroll could lead to massive layoffs and ignite violence in an area bristling with guns.
Let's see, can we all remember the last time we unilaterally decided to not help out some middle-eastern folks who practiced Islam who suddenly found themselves without paychecks but oversupplied with weapons, ammo and time to use them both? No, gee, I can't either.

bin Laden Determined to Attack the US. I guess even when it's written in plain English it's too hard for those idiots to figure out. They're still out looking for rose petals and candy on the streets of Baghdad.

posted by Jo Fish at 10:49 AM | Comments (2)



















usdemvet -at- hotmail.com
or
usndemvet -at- usdemvet.com (coming soon)






All the original material © 2002-2003 Jo Fish
steal what you want, all I ask is an attribution of some sort
Thanks