Thursday, March 23, 2006

Then there's this...

Oh, Hillary you do have your moments...

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton invoked the Bible yesterday to criticize a stringent border security measure that, among other things, would make it a federal crime to offer aid to illegal immigrants.

"It is hard to believe that a Republican leadership that is constantly talking about values and about faith would put forth such a mean-spirited piece of legislation," she said of the measure, which was passed by the House of Representatives in December and mirrored a companion Senate bill introduced last week by Senator Bill Frist, a Tennessee Republican and the majority leader.

"It is certainly not in keeping with my understanding of the Scripture because this bill would literally criminalize the Good Samaritan and probably even Jesus himself," she said. "We need to sound the alarm about what is being done in the Congress."

Well, she's got it right about these idiots locking up Jesus. He would be a threat to the politicians, the banking industry, border patrol and well, pretty much everyone else who calls themselves a "christian" but is actually a christofascist. I've always wondered if a returned Jesus would get all Moses on Falwell et al's ample asses...calling down plagues of frogs, locusts and most feared: empty bank accounts.

You go Hillary...you've now just managed to earn yourself a subject line in a whole new RNC fundraising letter from Ken Mehlman: Sen. Clinton hates Jesus.

Jeebus.

posted by Jo Fish at 02:45 PM | Comments (5)



Christofacist Amerika

Once upon a time, there was a Superbowl half-time show.

The pilot episode of "The Bedford Diaries," which concerns a group of college students attending a class on human sexuality, had already been accepted by WB's standards department. After the F.C.C. decision last week to issue millions of dollars in fines against broadcast stations, the network's chairman, Garth Ancier, contacted Mr. Fontana and asked him to edit a number of specific scenes out of the show, including one that depicted two girls in a bar kissing on a dare and another of a girl unbuttoning her jeans.
Janet Jackson showed Christofascist Amerika her titty. Something that none of them had ever seen before. There was outrage!

Now there's just paranoia. Way to go.

All for a tit, what George Carlin once described as "a friendly thing". Not for some folks, I guess. So much for the 1st Amendment. And tits.

posted by Jo Fish at 02:27 PM | Comments (4)



Big Words

Preznit Water Polo is off trying to shore up those sagging poll numbers (he doesn't read polls, right?). Right. Well, Unka Karl and the nervous republicans do. So they have the front-man for mangling the English language out there defending the indefensible, again.

"Let me put it to you this way: If I didn't think we'd succeed, I'd pull our troops out," Bush said. More than 2,000 supporters - including many active-duty military and their families - leapt from their seats and filled the gilded Capitol Music Hall with wild applause.

"I cannot look mothers and dads in the eye, I can't ask this good Marine to go into harm's way if I didn't believe, one, we're going to succeed, and, two, it's necessary for the security of the United States," Bush said.

Big words, from a deserting, disobedient little shit who escaped punishment for disobeying a direct order while he was in uniform because of who his daddy was after the taxpayers of this country forked over big dollars to train him to become an ANG pilot.

Big Words from a man who can't seem to convince a single member of his own extended family of the value of military service in the CENTCOM theatre of operations, either Afghanistan or Mess O'Potamia.

Big Words from a man who wouldn't know the truth if it came up and bit him in the ass.

Big Words from a liar mean nothing. The American public is finally starting to figure that out. Finally.

posted by Jo Fish at 12:43 AM | Comments (25)



Buggered?

The 1600 Crew, in it's quest for the zenith of silliness never fails to disappoint.

The Pentagon's defence scientists want to create an army of cyber-insects that can be remotely controlled to check out explosives and send transmissions.
...
Darpa believes scientists can take advantage of the evolution of insects, such as dragonflies and moths, in the pupa stage.

"Through each metamorphic stage, the insect body goes through a renewal process that can heal wounds and reposition internal organs around foreign objects," its proposal document reads.
...
A winning bidder would have to deliver "an insect within five metres of a specific target located 100 metres away".

The "insect-cyborg" must also "be able to transmit data from relevant sensors, yielding information about the local environment. These sensors can include gas sensors, microphones, video, etc."
...
Darpa's previous experiments to get bees and wasps to detect the smell of explosives foundered when their "instinctive behaviours for feeding and mating... prevented them from performing reliably", it said.

Obviously those damned bees and wasps had not heard Claude Allen's missives on "Abstinence in Service to America"™.

I guess if Mothra shows up in downtown DC, we'll know who to blame. Right? Mothra v. Darth Cheney...I'd pay to see that one.

posted by Jo Fish at 12:32 AM | Comments (1)



Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Vomitus

Preznit King George the Lesser:

President Bush acknowledged yesterday that the war in Iraq is dominating nearly every aspect of his presidency, and he served notice for the first time that he expects the decision on when all U.S. troops come home to fall on his successors.
All-Volunteer Army, blah blah blah. Fuck that noise. The troops would be coming home tomorrow if Jenna and Not-Jenna were in Mess O'Potamia. Take that to the fucking bank.

To. The. Fucking. Bank.

So why are none of La Famiglia Bush even in the military, answers anyone?

Doesn't this just make you wanna puke? As always, someone else gets to clean up the incompetant fucker's mess, at some future date.

posted by Jo Fish at 01:54 AM | Comments (5)



The Circular Firing Squad Effect

Tammy Duckworth, the Army helo driver who is running as a "Fighting Dem" for Henry "Infidelity'R'Me" Hyde's seat in Illinois is the victim of yes, the patented Democratic Circular Firing Squad. Last known victim: Iraq Vet and Marine, Paul Hackett.

Tammy Duckworth, the decorated Iraq war veteran who lost both legs in a grenade attack, was locked in a close race last night in her bid for the Democratic primary nomination to succeed retiring Rep. Henry J. Hyde (R) in Illinois's 6th Congressional District.
...
With 26 percent of precincts reporting, Duckworth had about 44 percent of the vote, Cegelis about 40 percent and Lindy Scott, a Wheaton College Spanish teacher, about 16 percent.
...
Cegelis sought to portray Duckworth as a political carpetbagger in the congressional district, a traditionally GOP bastion west of Chicago in DuPage County. Cegelis asserted that many residents resented that Duckworth lives in a home three miles outside the district and that she raised most of her $517,747 campaign war chest with the help of her national Democratic allies.
Does Cegelis have her fucking nose so out of joint over getting competition from a woman vet who wants to go to congress to try and make a difference or what? No, really, win or lose the primary, will Cegelis now be branded as a whiny titty baby...complaining about nothing because her dreams of a future lobbying career and fat congressional perks are getting shit-canned by an actual, VETERAN?

Just my humble opinion, but it sure looks like the Joe Lieberman Circular Firing Squad is at right shoulder arms, and awaiting instructions in Illinois.

Here's to hoping Major Tammy kicks her ass.



Important Update

When I was reading about Chris Cegelis, I mistakenly assumed that SHE was a Christopher, not a Christine. My bad...and how utterly sexist of me. Kudos to my buddy Bruce Webb for pointing this out. Late night insomnia posting... not always a great idea. Some things are more clear in the light of day.

My bad. Sorry.

posted by Jo Fish at 01:38 AM | Comments (5)



















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