No wonder most of the civilized world is convinced that we have a boob and a charlatan in the two highest elected offices in this country. Darth Cheney, Sith Lord of the Old EOB:

Vice President Dick Cheney had some tough words for Russia during his current tour of Lithuania. Cheney said Vladimir Putin's Russia is restricting the rights of its citizens and proclaimed that "no legitimate interest is served" by turning energy resources into implements of blackmail.
...
"And no one can justify actions that undermine the territorial integrity of a neighbor, or interfere with democratic movements."

And no one can justify actions that undermine the territorial integrity of a neighbor

rrrrralph.

The right, whose other motto besides "Saddam Bad" is "All your Uterii (plural for uterus?) Belong to US!" may have a little problem with this:

Poor women are getting pregnant unintentionally at considerably higher rates now than in the mid-1990s, and they are giving birth to many more unplanned children and having more abortions.

In contrast, the rate of unplanned pregnancies and resulting abortions for more affluent women declined substantially during the same eight-year period, according to a new study by researchers at the Guttmacher Institute who analyzed federal data.
...
Asked what was driving the trends, the authors noted that some state and federal reproductive health programs have been cut and made more restrictive in recent years, and the decline in contraceptive use could be a result of those changes. Both have increasingly focused on abstinence rather than contraception, and some have argued that switch is also leading to reduced contraceptive use and more unintended pregnancies. Many social conservatives argue, however, that contraceptives all have limitations and that the only way a woman can ensure she will not have an unintended pregnancy is to refrain from sexual intercourse until she is ready to have a child.

I love the phrasing: "...that the only way [a woman] ... is to refrain from sexual intercourse until she is ready to have a child." Because the whole making babies thing is so Asexual/One-sided. Well, it was one time according to them. Jesus Christ, what a bunch of freaking morons.

I guess that they really do believe they hold the deed to all American Women's Uterii, except if they live above the poverty level, and then selectively depending on state of residence.

November can't get here soon enough.

We all know what SwiftBoating is. How about a couple of new words after Stephen Colbert's outstanding performance Saturday night?

Colberting (pronounced: Koal-Bearing) - To have Bullshit called on everything you've ever said. Useage: I am Coberting everything you just said; it's demonstrably false. You don't even need to be fact checked, you're so demonstrably full of shit.

Colberted (pronounced: Koal-Beared) - To have been put down with intuitively obvious truth. Useage: I Colberted him in that debate, he went cryin' home to mamma. You, mothefucker, have been Colberted.

Perhaps they'll become as common as this. A Fish can only hope.

For all the morons, wankers and fuckwits like Richard Cohen, Mary Matalin, Noam Scheiber (and Bean):

But I think that message was just too much for the self-satisfied upper crust of the media elite to handle when Colbert threw it right in their faces on Saturday night.

Here they were, holding a swanky party for themselves, and Colbert was essentially telling them that they've completely screwed up their number one job these past six years. Is it any surprise they were defensive?
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What Colbert was saying about the guy sitting a few feet away from him -- and I think this is what made so many people in that room uncomfortable -- was: Don't believe a word he says.

You know, statements like this really are inquisition-enabling. When someone in Preznit Coke-Line Epiphany starts talking about how the nation is one that is primarily a bunch of prayin' fools, and then has the unmitigated gall to start locking up US Citizens with no recourse to the courts, how long until he starts channeling Torquemada?

President Bush said Thursday that America's history is inexorably tied to prayer.

"America is a nation of prayer. It's impossible to tell the story of our nation without telling the story of people who pray," Bush said during a White House celebration of the National Day of Prayer. "At decisive moments in our history and in quiet times around family tables, we are a people humbled and strengthened and blessed by prayer."
...
"We are a people united by our love for freedom, even when we differ in our personal beliefs," the president said. "In America, we are free to profess any faith we choose, or no faith at all."

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."

...the president thanked those who pray for him, calling it the greatest gift a citizen can offer him.

"In my travels across the great land, a comment that I hear often from our fellow citizens is, `Mr. President, I pray for you and your family.' It's amazing how many times a total stranger walks up and says that to me," Bush said.

February 6,2003 at a "National Prayer Breakfast":

It is fitting that we have a National Prayer Breakfast. It is the right thing to do, because this is a nation of prayer. I know, from firsthand knowledge, that this is a nation of prayer. See, I work the ropelines a lot, and I hear all kinds of things on the ropelines. But the thing I hear the most, the comment I hear the most from our fellow citizens, regardless of their political party or philosophy, is, Mr. President, I pray for you and your family, and so does my family. That's what I hear. I turn to them without hesitation and say, it is the greatest gift you can give anybody, is to pray on their behalf.

Good thing that Colbert didn't get into this area, the uproar would have been monumental. Well, when they get Beloved Leader back on his meds again one day, perhaps he'll become more rational... Not.

The Inquisitions, what a show,
The Inquistions, here we go,
We know you're wishing that we go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to
Hey Torquemada, whatta ya say?
I just got back from the auto-da-fe
Auto-de-fe, what's an auto-de-fe*?
It's what you oughten't to do, but you do anyway

It's hard to believe, well no not really hard to believe that Ignatius writes in the Washington Post that John McCain would not "sell his soul" to become President. Yeah, right. What, giving Jerry Falwell a reach-around was what, political foreplay?

Part of McCain's appeal is that he seems to straddle such partisan political calculations. He's the victim of torture who opposes torture, the man caught in the "Keating Five" ethics scandal who insists on reform, the critic of Iraq policy who insists that America must win the war, the conservative who is beloved by moderates. A McCain candidacy, if he makes the formal decision next year to run, will be rooted in his image as a man of principle. But it will also be something of a balancing act -- one that the candidate himself is likely to find uncomfortable.

I never had any illusions about McCain's politics in 2000, but I tried to ensure that he'd be the republican nominee to face Gore a battle that might have had a far different outcome in many ways than what we see from recent history.

McCain did the next worst thing in modern politics to getting caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy: he sucked Jerry Falwell's dick at a time when he needed to look like a moderate republican to Democrats who might have gotten on board with his campaign (not me ever again). He's proven who he wants to lie down with, now he can snuggle up to them and see how far a reach-around will get you in the morning.

Hey, just got an email from our buddy Leonard Clark out in Arizona and he's getting with the program.

Hello Mr. Fish, I'm writing to give you a campaign update from Arizona. This Saturday (May 6th, 2006) is going to be a big day. That day, the State democratic party meeting is going to be held. This meeting will be held at the Pheonix Wyndham hotel. The main meeting will probably not start until late morning but there will be activities held before then. Progressive Democrats of America will be hosting an immigration panel which is open to the public. Some well known communities members will probably be there such as Ben Miranda.

People do not have to be members to attend the meeting. There will be much useful information there. Candidates are not supposed to speak to the whole audience at once but rather will be allowed to man tables at the meeting to meet people. I have contacted the state Democratic party and we will see if they are cooperative (because we know whom they are favoring in the U.S. Senate race. But, one word of caution many people who work in the party at lower levels support our grassroots campaign to win the U.S. Senate for the Clark campaign.)

I'm hoping any of our supporters who are in attendance will help us man our campaign booth because you know that the other guy's 2 million dollars is going to buy him lots of support. I will try to keep you updated on what's going on. By the way, if you or any of your friends can attend this meeting it will be very helpful. I will be there.

Is it a long shot? Yeah, but this may be the year of the Long Shot. No kidding. I suspect that piles o'lobbyist/special interest cash won't be enough (it might even be a detriment if played right) to keep some incumbents in office.

Pass this on, I am.

Interesting stuff. Apparently during WW One Montana had one of the most draconian sedition laws in the US. The governor has issued posthumous pardons for folks convicted and imprisoned under that law.

Seventy-nine Montanans were convicted under the state law, considered among the harshest in the country, for speaking out in ways deemed critical of the United States. In one instance, a traveling wine and brandy salesman was sentenced to 7 to 20 years in prison for calling wartime food regulations a "big joke."
...
The sedition law, which made it a crime to say or publish anything "disloyal, profane, violent, scurrilous, contemptuous or abusive" about the government, soldiers or the American flag, was unanimously passed by the Legislature in February 1918. It expired when the war ended, Mr. Work said.

Hey, I'm only being half-facetious here y'all. Congress passes a bill: There shall be no Sedition Laws anywhere...Beloved Leader attaches a "signing statement" that reads "Like Hell" and off we go, forward into the past!

Poll numbers down? The bulk of America despising your party? Two choices, Wag to Dog and bomb Eye-Ran or dole out some more tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans.

President Bush and congressional Republicans agreed yesterday on a $70 billion package of tax-cut extensions that they hope will help halt the deterioration of their political fortunes.
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The package would extend the 2003 cuts to the tax rates on dividends and capital gains, continue tax breaks for small-business investment and the overseas operations of financial service companies, and slow the expansion of the alternative minimum tax, a parallel income tax system that was enacted to target the rich but is increasingly snaring the middle class.
...
For the Republicans, the tax cuts may have to substitute for other measures proposed last week to help consumers cope with gasoline prices. ...
...
White House spokesman Scott McClellan said yesterday. "Particularly at a time when Americans are paying more at the pump, the president believes the last thing they need is for Washington to take more of their hard-earned dollars out of their pockets."

In 2003, Congress passed a measure to lower the tax rate on most dividends to 15 percent from as high as 38.6 percent and to lower rates on most capital gains from 20 percent to 15 percent. That measure is set to expire in 2008 but would be extended through 2010 under yesterday's agreement, at a cost to the Treasury of $21 billion over five years and an additional $30 billion between 2011 and 2015, according to aides familiar with the deal. The alternative-minimum-tax provision would restrict the reach of the tax for one year, at a cost of $34 billion.

The agreement would also allow small businesses to write off investments worth up to $100,000 for an additional two years, 2008 and 2009, while letting banking, securities and insurance companies defer income tax payments on overseas trading profits for one additional year.

I suspect that $3/gallon and beyond will cook these motherfuckers like gutted trout on a Snake River campfire in November. It's not going to be hard to pull the handle for change when you've just driven to the polls in your car that's running on gasoline sold by a company that makes record profits thanks, in part, to the subsidies you as a taxpayer are giving them courtesy of your soon-to-be-former bought-and-paid-for CongressCriminal.

Yeah baby, a new broom sweeps clean. They continue to mortgage my kid's future? Toss'em out.

Beloved Leader to Congress: You are Fucking Irrelevant, Don't waste my time, I'll ignore you and all your work at my pleasure. Go home, take a junket, talk trash, collect cash for re-election to do my future bidding. You,Congress, are all LESS THAN fucking NOTHING as far as I am concerned, if you don't like it: BITE ME!

Buzz around left blogistan: Preznit Dik Tator is pretty much a de facto dictator, as the talk about signing statements seems to illustrate. Well, the discussion is somewhat academic until you look under the hood. Here are some samples.

Dec. 30: When requested, scientific information ''prepared by government researchers and scientists shall be transmitted [to Congress] uncensored and without delay."

Bush's signing statement: The president can tell researchers to withhold any information from Congress if he decides its disclosure could impair foreign relations, national security, or the workings of the executive branch.
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.
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Dec. 23, 2004: Forbids US troops in Colombia from participating in any combat against rebels, except in cases of self-defense. Caps the number of US troops allowed in Colombia at 800.

Bush's signing statement: Only the president, as commander in chief, can place restrictions on the use of US armed forces, so the executive branch will construe the law ''as advisory in nature."
.
.
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Aug. 5: The military cannot add to its files any illegally gathered intelligence, including information obtained about Americans in violation of the Fourth Amendment's protection against unreasonable searches.

Bush's signing statement: Only the president, as commander in chief, can tell the military whether or not it can use any specific piece of intelligence.
.
.
.
Nov. 5, 2002: Creates an Institute of Education Sciences whose director may conduct and publish research ''without the approval of the secretary [of education] or any other office of the department."

Bush's signing statement: The president has the power to control the actions of all executive branch officials, so ''the director of the Institute of Education Sciences shall [be] subject to the supervision and direction of the secretary of education."

The republican fuckwits who have stood by and allowed this to happen while they controlled congress...gee, how long would they have stood for this if the Clenis™ been writing signing statements like these on the legislation they passed.

I think it's time someone took these fucks to court over this, if that's possible. Clearly they have crossed separation of powers off the list of things they need to worry about. I have a feeling that if this story gets out and is more widely reported and understood, many Americans will start to wonder about the actual machinations that have been going on in their names, and that may well translate into a sea-change in the Congress in November. We can only hope...

I have to wonder about MBNAJoe Biden and his grasp of reality. His recent op-ed proposing a return to an Ottoman-like partition of Iraq (hey, that's progress returning to pre-WWI boundries, sort of) and leaving troops garrisoned there has to be a recipe for disaster. Biden proposes partitioning Iraq into three provinces and making the capital of Iraq be Baghdad. Gee, I wonder if the dope he's smoking is that good or if he's just that stupid.

In an op-ed essay in Monday's edition of The New York Times, Sen. Joseph Biden, D-Del., wrote that the idea "is to maintain a united Iraq by decentralizing it, giving each ethno-religious group ... room to run its own affairs, while leaving the central government in charge of common interests."

The new Iraqi constitution allows for establishment of self-governing regions. ... The Constitution must be amended to guarantee Sunni areas 20 percent (approximately their proportion of the population) of all revenues."
...
Biden and Gelb also wrote that President Bush "must direct the military to design a plan for withdrawing and redeploying our troops from Iraq by 2008 (while providing for a small but effective residual force to combat terrorists and keep the neighbors honest)."

The story of Joe's Fantasy League Iraq closes with this gem talking about force levels in Iraq:

Rumsfeld has rejected criticism that he sent too few U.S. troops to Iraq, saying that Franks and generals who oversaw the campaign’s planning had determined the overall number of troops, and that he and Bush agreed with them. The recommendation of senior military commanders at the time was about 145,000 troops.

This is the media that fantasizes that they accurately report the goings-on in DC. I guess the press release must have come out as they were cleaning up the cocktail weenies and having last call at the open bar. Because you'd have to be fucking stoned to miss the fact that the Army Chief of Staff called Rumsfeld out on that reality-based fact and not report it, or just blithely say "senior commanders recommended 150,000 troops" and mean it.

Stephen Colbert is an American Hero. Watch the video of his performance at the WH Correspondants Dinner. You know why the whore media was not applauding? Because he held up a mirror to their faces, and they saw what everyone else sees. That they are, for the most part, a bunch of two-bit hookers. Well, not really because that gives hookers a bad name.

Watch it here or catch a rerun on CSPAN.

Tough shit about Beloved Leader finding out that he's not loved, isn't it? I wonder how he'll feel if he's impeached and convicted, left with nothing but his radioactive aura (no republican will talk to him for the rest of his life) and daddy's millions. No secret service, no government stipend, and what will irk him eternally, no power or respect through fear and bullying.

What Colbert said about the media and Preznit were what so many of us feel...whores, liars and stenographers.

1. Hypocrite
   
2. Faith-Based Uterii?
   
3. New Words?
   
4. Froomkin
   
5. What an asshole
   
6. David Ignornat-atius hearts McCain
   
7. Leonard Clark upate
   
8. Sedition Edition
   
9. Tax Cuts, Tax Cuts, Tax Cuts
   
10. Signing Statements