Now that even Pat Robertson is convinced (so he says) of Global Warming, perhaps we'll seen some movement in the 1600 Crew. Nah.
But seriously, how come we only get gloom and doom global warming stories...increasing hurricanes, weird El Ninos, melting ice caps, snow in South Africa, drowning polar bears. Where's all the good news, the happy news that comes on at 11 right after the stories of missing blondes, home invasions and convenience store heists?
Blistering heat was just what Sandi Fontaine needed to bake cookies for her co-workers - on the dash of her Toyota RAV4.
With temperatures soaring Wednesday, Fontaine placed two trays of cookie dough on the dashboard, shut the doors and retreated inside to her air-conditioned office.
"My husband wanted me to run some errands this morning," said Fontaine, who works at Baldwin and Clarke Corporate Finance. "I said, 'I can't. I'm baking cookies.'"
Fontaine first tested her dashboard oven three years ago. She said anyone can do it; the only requirement is for the outside temperature to be at least 95 degrees, so it will rise to about 200 degrees in the car. Temperatures in the area reached the mid- to upper 90s on Wednesday.
"Mrs. Fields has nothing on Sandi," co-worker Brian Champigny said of the cookie company.
Though Thursday was supposed to be cooler, Fontaine said she'll still enjoy the benefits of her culinary effort.
"When you open the door to that car," she said, "it's like, oh, my God. It's a wonderful smell."
You know, I'm gonna try that. Oh, and I'm gonna send this on to Cookie Jill over at Skippy, let's see if she can do a Dried Cherry White Chocolate Macadamia Nut for me. Now, pump up that Ozone ... I need some cookies!
Wow. Read this, almost fell out of my chair onto my fat ass. Speaking of the failed estate tax bill in the senate, Ms. Kay Bailey Hutchison:
"It is an excuse to make it a do-nothing Congress," Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, Republican of Texas, said. "And we are turning our back on the middle-class and poor people in this country who depend on the minimum wage and death-tax relief."
Ironic isn't it, about that whole "death-tax" thing, why just the other day I was in a Mooby's and a girl was saying to her friend how she was disappointed in the possible negative tax consequences for her estate if the bill were not made permanent.
Then she asked me if I wanted fries with my MaMooby burger. I'm sure she's comforted to know that Senator Southern Hair Shellac is on the case for her.
The United States plans to help train and equip the Lebanese army so it can take control of all of the nation’s territory when warfare between Israel and Hezbollah eases, the State Department said Thursday.
The program was approved by Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to take effect "once we have conditions on the ground permitting," spokesman Sean McCormack said.
Oh, wait a minute...mebbe there's more...
McCormack provided no details on what equipment the United States might provide, the training that would be conducted, how many U.S. personnel would be involved, or possible costs.
Another hollow promise from the 1600 Crew, spoken to appear "resolute" and make Peggy Noonan and K-Lo cream in their panties?
Would it be irresponsible to speculate about that?
The White House fought the image that the president would be tuned out even temporarily to problems in the Middle East, where there was no end in sight to fighting between Israel and Lebanon-based Hezbollah militants. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was going to the ranch during his first weekend in Texas.
From the mouth of Fox News Press Secretary Tony Snow:
"My guess is he's going to be working pretty hard," Snow said. "So this is not something where he's simply going to be gallivanting and ignoring the realities of the situation."
Someone needs to let Snow know that his boss, Preznit ADD has been ignoring the realities of the situation for about six years now. If it weren't for Unka Dick and Unka Karl, he'd be ridin' the range with a Jack Black in one hand and his dick in the other.
...not...going to be gallivanting and ignoring the realities of the situation
A sure runner-up for best/classic quote since Ron Nissen's "no longer operative" during Watergate.
Woo hoo! The other poster boy for GOoPer corruption is back on the ticket for the November election! The appellate court in New Orleans is putting his name back on the ballot. So now the King of Korruption is back to do battle once more.
A federal appeals court panel on Thursday refused to let Texas Republicans replace Tom DeLay's name on the November congressional ballot.
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While the U.S. Constitution requires a candidate to live in-state, the question is where he is residing on Election Day, not now, the three-judge panel of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said.
"Proof of DeLay's present residency may suggest where he will be in the future; however, it does not put the matter beyond dispute or question," the opinion said.
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If the Republican Party chairman decides to appeal, the matter could be directed to the full appeals court or the U.S. Supreme Court.
Well, we all know how the Supremes will rule...the session will go something like this:
Thomas: "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Scalia: "Wherefore and forthwith be it hereby resolved that whatever needs to be done to fight the war on Terra™ shall henceforth be done, Mr Delay will keeping you off the ballot further those ends? Then so be it!" After which he breaks into song - "Opus Dei-o, Opus Dei-o Armageddon's comin' 'n' me wanna go home!"
Alito: "Mr Delay is rich and therefore deserves whatever leeway we can give him to make a better life for himself and his family, again, I say Mr. Delay is wealthy and white, therefore I like him and rule in his favor, no matter what the question"
Roberts: "I agree with Mr Justice Alito. I like rich, conservative, corporately-connected guys and that RNC guy just doesn't call me anymore"
Kennedy: "Ah fuck it, I'm too old for this, heads he stays, tails he goes"
President Bush's cheeky, newsless visit to the White House briefing room yesterday was an appropriate sendoff for a press corps that has been unable to get much if any advantage from its physical proximity to Bush's inner sanctum.
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So there was something entirely appropriate about Bush stopping by the briefing room yesterday not to answer (or even be asked) a single substantive question -- but to insult pretty much everyone in spitting distance.
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And when former ABC White House correspondent Sam Donaldson, famous for shouting out important questions to Ronald Reagan, asked Bush an idiotic one -- "Mr. President, should Mel Gibson be forgiven?" -- Bush responded: "Is that Sam Donaldson? Forget it. You're a has-been. We don't have to answer has-been's questions."
Even a press corps used to chuckling and guffawing at Bush's frat-boy towel-snapping responded with what the White House transcribers recorded as an "Ohhhhh!" over that one.
All in all, an appropriately ugly and useless sendoff to a room where both respect and self-respect have been in short supply.
You have to wonder if the butt-licking stenographers of the press corps who were so easily won over in 1999 and 2000 for a nickname and a plate of brisket got the message that this shallow, callow excuse for a man is really not such a nice person. On any level.
Yup, remember the Domino Theory of the hard-right cold-warriors? The one that said that if we let Ho Chi Minh win in Vietnam it would be all over of the free world? That Communisnismum would spread like a cancer and infect our lust for fast cars, cola products, poodle skirts, bomber jackets, surfing, apple pie and a peek at June Cleaver's bustline?
Well, they've done it again, the old argument is back via, no surprise, an old cold warrior. Unfortunately he's also SECDEF and one of Preznit Butt-boi's best buddies, right after Unka TeaBag.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld warned on Thursday against pulling U.S. troops out of Iraq prematurely, saying it would be seen as a victory by extremists who want to control a region extending beyond the Middle East.
"If we left Iraq prematurely as the terrorists demand, the enemy would tell us to leave Afghanistan and then withdraw from the Middle East," he told the Senate Armed Services Committee at a hearing.
"And if we left the Middle East, they'd order us and all those who don't share their militant ideology to leave what they call the occupied Muslim lands from Spain to the Philippines," he said.
Wow. Good thing we have a bunch of old cold-war hands running everything from State to Defense. They'll know how to deal with this threat.
Oh, wait. No, they don't. They've managed to fuck this up as badly as the Bay of Pigs.
Wow. Someone write Abazaid a citation for a Legion of Merit with an Oak Leaf Cluster for stating the blazingly obvious. Testifying on capitol hill:
The head of the U.S. Central Command on Thursday said sectarian violence in Baghdad was as bad as he has ever seen and could lead to a civil war.
"Sectarian violence probably is as bad as I've seen it, in Baghdad in particular," Army Gen. John Abizaid told the Senate Armed Services Committee. "If not stopped, it is possible that Iraq could move toward civil war."
Gee, that's strange. I thought Holy Joe told me that everything was going swimmingly.
Iraq. Civil War. Sectarian Violence. Whoda ever imagined such a thing?
Because there are no missing blondes, presidents getting head or anything else of major import happening in the World Today, Newsweek, that journalistic inbred cousin of the supermarket tabloids has decided that interviewing the author of the "Left Behind" series would be a stellar idea. See, Tim La Haye believes the rapture is imminent, and Newsweek is helping him spread the word. La Haye's charming view of the impending rapture is filled with tidbits like this:
...my understanding is that current biblical scholarship reads some of the apocalyptic scenes in the Bible as metaphorically addressing events that were taking place as the Bible was being written.
These are usually liberal theologians that don't believe the Bible literally.
... Does this explain how living right with God, in a Christian sense, would entail supporting the Israeli state right now?
I think those two things are related. Christians who take the Bible literally are generally supportive of Israel because God promises to bless those nations that are a blessing to Israel and curse those nations that are not. And the history of America bears that out.
... So believers in the Rapture don't necessarily foresee a damnation of the Jews then?
No, we don’t believe in the damnation of people in ethnic groups. We believe that’s an individual decision. Now, it often follows in people groups. Take the Muslims that we've been talking about. Everybody knows that they do not accept Jesus Christ as a means of salvation from sin. That's the only way you can be saved, is to call on the name of the Lord. They’re not about to do that.
Oh can't you feel the love? Just another one of those fantabulous Xtians with their fear-inspring fairy tales. It seems that they have been around since the middle ages and they never do seem to go away. They're like a virus, just when it seems that everyone is immune to their poison, they come back with a different strain of the same old crap and find a whole new load of minds to infect yet again.
As part of his new media strategy to get out of Washington and reconnect with the voters, President Bush dined with "community leaders" Sunday night in Miami Beach.
Or so the White House wanted you to believe.
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It was only hours after Bush had learned that an Israeli air strike had killed dozens of Lebanese children, a moment for soul-searching if there ever was one.
But what did Bush want to talk about?
Former Dolphin Jim Kiick told Steve Wine of the Associated Press that topics of conversation included movies, the 1972 Dolphins and fellow attendee and former Dolphin Dan Marino's achievements -- but little politics.
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What's so special about the 1972 Dolphins? They were the only team ever to have a perfect season in the history of the National Football League. Bush's record isn't quite so good.
And where was Bush himself during that 1972 season? No one really knows.
The 17-game Dolphins winning streak extended from September to December 1972. Bush was suspended from flight status in the Texas Air National Guard in August 1972 after failing to take his required annual flight physical. During that 1972 Dolphins season, he had supposedly transferred to an Alabama guard unit. But available records and recollection of guard members who were there at the time suggest he didn't show up.
Add to that, the "small business dinner" that Bunnypants went to in Chicago was with a couple of "small business" leaders... if you can count the CEO of Kraft Foods as such.
From the oldies-but-goodies file, in light of the attempted "rehabilitation" of Michael Ledeen by some on the right:
I think the level of casualties is secondary. I mean, it may sound like an odd thing to say, but all the great scholars who have studied American character have come to the conclusion that we are a warlike people and that we love war. . . . What we hate is not casualties but losing. And if the war goes well and if the American public has the conviction that we're being well-led and that our people are fighting well and that we're winning, I don't think casualties are going to be the issue.
Michael Ledeen
AEI Breakfast
March 27, 2003
I think the American people are going to have great tolerance for the war taking longer, and they are going to have great tolerance for more casualties.
William Kristol
AEI Breakfast
March 27, 2003
In Miami today Beloved Leader is speechifying again about Lebanon. Interestingly, he's once again doing it from the cover of a US Armed Forces venue, because, I suspect that he's too cowardly to go out and face a crowd of actual Americans who might not agree with his Rove-approved talking points.
"The current crisis is part of a larger struggle between the forces of freedom and the forces of terror in the Middle East," Mr. Bush said in a speech at the Coast Guard command center in Miami.
"For decades, the status quo in the Middle East permitted tyranny and terror to thrive," the president said. "And as we saw on Sept. 11, the status quo in the Middle East led to death and destruction in the United States, and it had to change."
Oh yeah, he said 9/11 again too, which never fails to get him a political woody when nothing else will do.
It seems to me that until recently, the US was seen as an "honest broker" in the middle east, and that helped us to work with everyone towards a resolution of the thousands of years of conflicts that have raged there. I guess that Bunnypants figures that if he can find Jeeezus and quit drinking (if he really has), it ought to be a piece of cake to just shake hands and sing kumbaya in the orange groves at sunset.
President Bush's "moment of opportunity" in the Middle East is increasingly looking like an opportunity for disaster.
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In the best of circumstances, Bush would be running the risk of being considered callous. But in the current circumstances, he runs the risk of being considered both callous and delusional.
Yup. Except I think that saying he "runs the risk" is like sounding an air-raid alert when the city is smoking rubble.
So now the republicans are fighting tooth-and-nail not to have their co-poster boy for corruption (along with Ralphie, Jackie and Duke-stir) be on the ballot for Congress in November. Interestingly, the courts don't seem to be buying it. The Texas Republicans have taken the argument on to the 5th Circuit in New Orleans (New Orleans? That makes it funny on a whole other level...)
Texas Republicans asked a federal appeals court on Monday to let them replace former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay on the November congressional ballot, but Democrats argued that Texas state law requires keeping DeLay as the GOP candidate.
DeLay won a March primary before resigning from Congress in June amid a growing scandal. He is awaiting trial on money laundering and conspiracy charges connected to the financing of Texas legislative campaigns in 2002 with alleged illegal corporate money.
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A federal judge ruled in early July that DeLay's name had to stay on the ballot even though he quit Congress and moved to Virginia.
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Texas law allows a political party to replace a candidate if he or she dies, becomes medically incapacitated or becomes ineligible for office. If the candidate simply "withdraws" from the race after winning his or her primary, a new candidate cannot be chosen.
I guess the only sure fire way to ensure that Delay is not on the ballot is for him to be "ineligible" to serve, which is what would happen if he were to say, plead guilty to all the charges between now and November.
As Jim Traficante might be able to share with him, it's hard to be a Congressman from Cell Block "A". I wonder which prison gang ol'Tommy boy would have to join to survive in the prison yard? I'm guessing it might be a limited choice since all the blacks and hispanics have all the good spots...they might not want him.
