Sometimes the jokes do write themselves:

Paris Hilton wants to be the first celebrity to go into space.

Ba-da-bing. Thank you, I'll be here all week, have some of the Tuna, before it's extinct.

From her mouth to the Hairy Thunderer's ear. Deborah Pryce, running in tough battle for reelection in central Ohio just made this statement:

As she fights for her political life, Ohio Republican Rep. Deborah Pryce distanced herself Thursday from the Iraq war, telling CNN Radio, "What's happening in Iraq is not a direct reflection on me."
...
In a statement issued to CNN later, Pryce finished her response, writing, "What's happening in Iraq is not a direct reflection on me."

"I voted to give the president the authority to use force in Iraq; that doesn't mean I'm always happy with what I see, but I can think of nothing worse for our troops or our prospects for success than having 435 members of Congress second-guessing our commanders," Pryce wrote.In a statement issued to CNN later, Pryce finished her response, writing, "What's happening in Iraq is not a direct reflection on me."

"I voted to give the president the authority to use force in Iraq; that doesn't mean I'm always happy with what I see, but I can think of nothing worse for our troops or our prospects for success than having 435 members of Congress second-guessing our commanders," Pryce wrote.

I don't think that the oversight authority given to the Congress by the Constitution exactly counts as "second-guessing", but then I've been wrong before.

But she's not responsible and it's no reflection on her. She's not responsible enough to be sent back to Congress again, that's for sure. I hope the voters and Franklin County and surrounding areas that have Ms. Pryce's name on the ballot in front of them on Tuesday remember that she "is not responsible", and vote for Mary Jo Kilroy.

It's the responsible thing to do, that will reflect well on the voters in central Ohio.

Pastor Ted just said in an interview on KUSA from Denver (via MSGOP) that he "only bought meth once, and never used it" and that he knew the man who sold it to him because he got a "massage" from him in his hotel room. Apparently Pastor Ted frequents many hotels in Denver, and that's how he learned of "his Massuer".

Uh-huh.

What's the old adage? When you're in the hole, put down the shovel? Pretty good advice, I'm thinking.

I wonder if he can get an answer from Preznit Picklehead about how to extracate himself from this within 24 hours. He'll be lucky to get the White House to answer his calls for the next 24 months.

Yesss... self-righteous christofascists, the gift that keeps on giving. Nothing wrong with being gay, or even republican, but being one of those self-hating, gay-baiting christofascists is another story.

I'm guessing that by now, you've seen the story of Ted Haggard, christofacist powerhouse, wired right into Karl Rove's office (now probably wired right into Karl Rove's shitcan), being 'outed' by a gay hooker in Denver.

The voice mails for from a man who calls himself "Art."

It should be noted Haggard's middle name is Arthur.

The first voice message, left on August 4 at 2:18 p.m., says:

"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address. I could send you some money for inventory but that's probably not working, so if you have it then go ahead and get what you can and I may buzz up there later today, but I doubt your schedule would allow that unless you have some in the house. Okay, I'll check in with you later. Thanks a lot, bye."

The second voice message, left on August 4 at 5:10 p.m., says:

"Hi Mike, this is Art, I am here in Denver and sorry that I missed you. But as I said, if you want to go ahead and get the stuff, then that would be great. And I'll get it sometime next week or the week after or whenever. I will call though you early next week to see what's most convenient for you. Okay? Thanks a lot, bye."

Jones claims Art is referring to methamphetamine in the messages.

**Update**
Apparently Haggard as now admitted to "some indiscretions" with the man who made the charges. Can we finally be done with the gay-bashing now, please? Jeralyn thinks it's to the meth business. Hey, in for a penny, in for a pound, smoke/fire, whatever. I'll bet there's more to it than that, and we'll hear about it soon.

Enough of the hypocrisy, hate and hysteria. If republicans and their evangelical supporters were less worried about their self-percieved "ick" factor about gays and more concerned with being lied to by their bought-and-paid for politicians no one would probably really care much if Pastor Ted liked to take a occaisional stroll on the wildside.

I'd feel worse for the guy, but he was up on the top of the heap with pushing the "gay marriage" issue with the 1600 Crew, and used his pulpit to encourage his flock to hate rather than love.

Karma is truly a bitch, ain't it?

It's crap like this that Americans are tired of, and has such a distinctly partisan stench attached to it. More and more Americans are sick of the rubber-stamp congressional republicans...and with any luck at all, they'll be unemployed soon (or at least a goodly number of them will be).

Investigations led by a Republican lawyer named Stuart W. Bowen Jr. in Iraq have sent American occupation officials to jail on bribery and conspiracy charges, exposed disastrously poor construction work by well-connected companies like Halliburton and Parsons, and discovered that the military did not properly track hundreds of thousands of weapons it shipped to Iraqi security forces.

And tucked away in a huge military authorization bill that President Bush signed two weeks ago is what some of Mr. Bowen’s supporters believe is his reward for repeatedly embarrassing the administration: a pink slip.

The order comes in the form of an obscure provision that terminates his federal oversight agency, the Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, on Oct. 1, 2007. The clause was inserted by the Republican side of the House Armed Services Committee over the objections of Democratic counterparts during a closed-door conference, and it has generated surprise and some outrage among lawmakers who say they had no idea it was in the final legislation.

Why is anyone surprised that CheneyBurton will operate with no oversight now? Why is anyone even in the least surprised that the republicans killed this on a party-line vote in secret? It's what they do, it's who they are and it's hopefully finally going to cost them the only things they understand, their power and perks.

As part of my choking on TV for the next several days leading up to the 7th, I have been watching a fair sampling of Talking Head Punditry and other blow-dried ne'er do wells.

On Tweety today he had a panel that must pass as "diverse" for him, Mikey Barnickle, Tony Perkins of the Fambla Research Council and Sixty-grit O'Beirn all opining on how badly the Democrats were going to lose on Tuesday (no, really Perkins said that).

Amazing.

For a media that purports to "Love the Troops", with their slavish reportage on all matters Martial (when it suits their republican paymasters), why have they virtually ignored the U.S. Soldier abandoned by the 1600 Crew to the "tender mercies of the Shi'ia Militias", but managed to have wall-to-wall coverage of John Kerry's foot-in-mouth disease?

I think I know the answer, but I'm just asking for the hell of it.

Not to hatchet the chickens before they count, or however that goes...if the wave of the election looks as it might, I have a suggestion for Nancy Pelosi and possibly Harry Reid for their first statement on Wedenesday morning:

"We are grateful for the hard work, dedication and trust of the American People who are giving us this chance to set our country on a new course. We issue this invitation to the White House to work with us to move our country forward beginning in January. All ideas are welcome, all members are included in the work we propose to undertake.

We will not be buying new drapes and carpets for any offices on Capitol Hill, because it is not a fiscally sound idea at a time when we can not afford it.

Thank you, and God Bless America."

From comments below:

Hi--
I'm a reporter for the St. Petersburg Times in Florida and I'm writing an article about wounded vets who have returned from Iraq (preferably to Florida). If you are an injured veteran from this war -- or know one who might want to talk with me -- I can be reached at 352-697-3143 or elesley@sptimes.com. My deadline is Friday evening.
Thanks!
Elena Lesley

Preznit Prayerful Pinhead...

President Bush reaffirmed his support for two of the most polarizing figures in his administration today, saying he wanted Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld as well as Vice President Dick Cheney to remain until the end of his presidency.
...
"Both men are doing fantastic jobs," Mr. Bush told The A.P. The president and his top aides have said repeatedly that no wars ever go exactly as planned, and that the American-led campaign to depose Mr. Hussein was good for the Iraqi people and good for the security of the United States.

It's long been a contention of mine that the service of Dear Leader was more easily characterized as "Other Than Honorable" for his disappearing act from the Texas Air National Guard, and then his disobedience of a direct order to get a goddamn flight physical. His apologists from Dan Bartlett to AssRocket have managed to make the arguments for his service more about the questioner than the Exalted Personage himself.

Well, now I know. There is not a fucking honorable bone in his body. Why? It's the Code of Conduct, something that all of us had drilled into us, Officer and Enlisted alike, perhap those of us who went to SERE School most of all (Aircrew, SEALs). Let's review, shall we?

The Six Articles of The Code of Conduct

Article I

I am an American fighting in the forces that guard my country and our way of life. I am prepared to give my life in their defense.

Article II

I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist.

Article III

If I am captured I will continue to resist by all means available. I will make every effort to escape and aid others to escape. I will accept neither parole nor special favors from the enemy.

Article IV

If I become a prisoner of war, I will keep faith with my fellow prisoners. I will give no information nor take part in any action which might be harmful to my comrades. If I am senior, I will take command. If not, I will obey the lawful orders of those appointed over me and will back them up in every way.

Article V

When questioned, should I become a prisoner of war, I am required to give name, rank, service number, and date of birth. I will evade answering further questions to the utmost of my ability. I will make no oral or written statements disloyal to my country and its allies or harmful to their cause.

Article VI

I will never forget that I am an American fighting for freedom, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which made my country free. I will trust in my God and in the United States of America.

So what the fuck is up with this shit?

Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki demanded the removal of American checkpoints from the streets of Baghdad on Tuesday, in what appeared to be his latest and boldest gambit in an increasingly tense struggle for more independence from his American protectors.

Mr. Maliki’s public declaration seemed at first to catch American commanders off guard. But by nightfall, American troops had abandoned all the positions in eastern and central Baghdad that they had set up last week with Iraqi forces as part of a search for a missing American soldier. The checkpoints had snarled traffic and disrupted daily life and commerce throughout the eastern part of the city. (my emphasis)

Now a soldier has gone missing, and he's determined that he'll just leave him behind. Something no officer would do who cared about his troops. But he was never an officer, he was a Lucky Sperm Awardee of a set of Lieutenants bars and silver wings.

He certainly didn't give a shit then, and he doesn't now. Does the military need to have their noses rubbed in this shit anymore to understand that they horse the have backed cares about them for ceremony and ass-kissing and not a whit for the things that matter to them, like their futures, their survival and their traditions like not leaving a buddy behind?

Here's a couple of Medal of Honor citations of men who knew that we leave no one behind, even at the risk of their lives:

Lieutenant Clyde E. Lassen, United States Navy
For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty on 19 June 1968 as pilot and aircraft commander of a search and rescue helicopter, attached to Helicopter Support Squadron Seven, Detachment One Hundred Four, embarked in USS Preble (DLG 15), during operations against enemy forces in North Vietnam. Launched shortly after midnight to attempt the rescue of two downed aviators, Lieutenant (then Lieutenant, Junior Grade) Lassen skillfully piloted his aircraft over unknown and hostile terrain to a steep, tree-covered hill on which the survivors had been located. Although enemy fire was being directed at the helicopter, he initially landed in a clear area near the base of the hill, but, due to the dense undergrowth, the survivors could not reach the helicopter. With the aid of flare illumination, Lieutenant Lassen successfully accomplished a hover between two trees at the survivor's position. Illumination was abruptly lost as the last of the flares were expended, and the helicopter collided with a tree, commencing a sharp descent. Expertly righting his aircraft and maneuvering clear, Lieutenant Lassen remained in the area, determined to make another rescue attempt, and encouraged the downed aviators while awaiting resumption of flare illumination. After another unsuccessful, illuminated, rescue attempt, and with his fuel dangerously low and his aircraft significantly damaged, he launched again and commenced another approach in the face of the continuing enemy opposition. When flare illumination was again lost, Lieutenant Lassen, fully aware of the dangers in clearly revealing his position to the enemy, turned on his landing lights and completed the landing. On this attempt, the survivors were able to make their way to the helicopter. Enroute to the coast, Lieutenant Lassen encountered and successfully evaded additional hostile antiaircraft fire and, with fuel for only five minutes of flight remaining, landed safely aboard USS Jouett (DLG 29). His courageous and daring actions, determination, and extraordinary airmanship in the face of great risk sustain and enhance the finest traditions of the United States Naval Service.

Lieutenant Thomas R. Norris, United States Naval Reserve

Lieutenant Thomas R. Norris, United States Naval ReserveFor conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as a SEAL Advisor with the Strategic Technical Directorate Assistance Team, Headquarters, U.S. Military Assistance Command, Vietnam. During the period 10 to 13 April 1972, Lieutenant Norris completed an unprecedented ground rescue of two downed pilots deep within heavily controlled enemy territory in Quang Tri Province. Lieutenant Norris, on the night of 10 April, led a five-man patrol through 2,000 meters of heavily controlled enemy territory, located one of the downed pilots at daybreak, and returned to the Forward Operating Base (FOB). On 11 April, after a devastating mortar and rocket attack on the small FOB, Lieutenant Norris led a three man team on two unsuccessful rescue attempts for the second pilot. On the afternoon of the 12th, a Forward Air Controller located the pilot and notified Lieutenant Norris. Dressed in fishermen disguises and using a sampan, Lieutenant Norris and one Vietnamese traveled throughout that night and found the injured pilot at dawn. Covering the pilot with bamboo and vegetation, they began the return journey, successfully evading a North Vietnamese patrol. Approaching the FOB, they came under heavy machine gun fire. Lieutenant Norris called in an air strike which provided suppression fire and a smoke screen, allowing the rescue party to reach the FOB. By his outstanding display of decisive leadership, undaunted courage, and selfless dedication in the face of extreme danger, Lieutenant Norris enhanced the finest traditions of the United States Naval Service.

I know that it's wrong to laugh at the ignorant (when has that ever stopped me before?). But this is the closing line in an email I got from someone who needs me to most urgently log in to my account via a URL they provided in their email.

*Important*
Please update your records on or before 48 hours, a failure to update your records will result in a temporal hold on your funds.

Amazing. As mean as it is to say this, I am just waiting for the next round of emails from the Nigerian scammers who lost incredibly wealthy relatives in that plane crash the other day. I feel sure that most everyone onboard from the guy in row one to the last row was probably worth no less than 15 million dollars.

Just send me your bank account information, and I'll tell you how I know... :-)

Amazingly, the Corpse that is Lieberman 4 Lieberman is still behaving like the beaten zombie that it is... and his campaign manager, Dangerstein writes letters. There was even a laff line in his letter to the New York Times extolling Holier-than-Thou Joe's many accomplishments, to wit:

Conducted a tough, exhaustive investigation of the Bush Administration’s failures in responding to Katrina, which led to the passage of a comprehensive FEMA reform bill.

It appears, then, that Mike Brown suffered 42 breathtaking minutes of serious nothingness (unless Lieberman's withering questioning regarding whether Brown would sufficiently keep the Senate informed --- duh,yes) to become Deputy Director of FEMA. When FEMA was, just a few months later, subsumed into DHS, Brown didn't need to be Senate confirmed as his new position -- technically as Under Secretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness and Response -- was "germane" to his old position. Guess that's true. But it means that the four Senators who showed up to confirm a deputy director were, in fact, confirming the head of America's entire emergency management apparatus.

Joe Lieberman needs to go. I hope Ned takes him.

Gilliard has a post up today aptly titled "Fuck Zakaria", and I feel that making a few more points about the excreble Mssr. Zakaria are in order.

Apparently Zakaria, as a columnist for Newsweek and a huge supporter of the invasion of Iraq was also a part of a group of folks known as "Bletchley II". Again these dimwitted fucks adopted something from WW Second to make themselves feel that they were part of something "real" in their international game of Risk and being double-naught spies.

Bletchley II was an ultra-secret group assembled by one the NeoCon True Believers of other NeoCon True Believers from various think tanks (well, mostly AEI) who provided "deep thoughts" about the rationale and methodology for convincing the country that we needed to go to war with Saddam. From "State of Denial":

The US government. especially the Pentagon, is incapable of producing the kind of ideas and strategy needed to deal with a crisis of the magnitude of 9/11, Wolfowitz told DeMuth*. He needed to reach outside to tackle the biggest questions. Who are the terrorists? Where did this come from? How does it relate to Islamic history, the history of the Middle East, and contemporary Middle East tension? What are we up against here?

Wolfowitz said he was thinking along the lines of Bletchley Park, the team of mathematicians and cryptologists the British set up during WWII to break the ULTRA German communications code. Could DeMuth quickly put together a skilled group to produce a report for the president, Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld, Rice and Tenet?
...
DeMuth recruited a dozen people. He later said they agreed to serve only "if I promised it would all be kept secret."

Included in the group were Bernard Lewis, a Cheney favorite and a scholar of Islam who had written extensively on Middle Eastern tensions with the West; Mark Palmer a former U.S. Ambassador to Hungary who specialized in dictatorships; Fareed Zakaria, the editor of Newsweek International; Fouad Ajami, director of the Middle Eastern Studies Program at SAIS; James Q. Wilson, a professor and specialist in human morality and crime; and Ruel Marc Gerecht, a former CIA Middle East expert. Rumsfeld assigned his consultant and general fix-it man Steve Herbits, to participate. Herbits, who had devised the original idea and encouraged Wolfowitz to push it, called the group "Bletchley II."
...
"The general analysis was that Egypt and Saudi Arabia, where most of the hijackers came from, were the key, but the problems there are intractable..."
...
"Saddam Hussein was different, weaker, more vulnerable. DeMuth said they had concluded that "Baathism is an Arab form of fascism transplanted to Iraq."
...
"We concluded that a confrontation with Saddam was inevitable. He was a gathering threat - the most menacing, active, and unavoidable threat. We agreed that Saddam would have to leave the scene before the problem would be addressed." That was the only way to transform the region.

Copies of the memo, straight from the Neoconservative Playbook, were hand-delivered to the war cabinet members. In some cases, it was given a SECRET classification. Cheney was pleased with the memo, and it had a strong impact on President Bush, causing him to focus on the "malignancy" of the Middle East. Rice found it "very, very persuasive."
...
...Summarizing their conclusions, Herbits said, "We're facing a two-generation war. And start with Iraq."

Zakaria's latest tripe is pretty much deconstructed by Gilliards poster over at Gilliards blog. Suffice it to say that anything that Zakaria writes should be taken with not just a grain of salt, but a dump-truck load of salt. He's crossed the line once, in my opinion, between Journalist and Genocide Enabler by his rah-rah cheerleading of the war he helped rationalize. If he wants to play "think tank" twit, fine, but he should not be writing anything for Newsweek or any other publication without disclosing up front that he's responsible in no small way for the conclusions that led to the rationale for the fucking mistake that is Iraq.

*"State of Denial" pp 83-85

1. A little mirth (very little)
   
2. The No-Responsibility Party ... Ever
   
3. Oh, my...
   
4. Another one bites the....
   
5. Why they're gonna lose
   
6. What passes for discourse
   
7. Priorities
   
8. November 8th
   
9. Help a gal out...
   
10. Oh, Jeebus