Friday, January 5, 2007

It's a beautiful thing...

Man, doesn't this just sum it up?

In a series of interviews, senior Republicans, particularly in the House, warned Democrats against acting unilaterally in passing their agenda -- a leadership style that the GOP itself used for many years.
Fat Denny Hastert was on screen briefly during the ceremony in the House chamber today, looking like he'd rather be getting a colonscopy than be sitting in the back of the House. In the minority.

Every malfeasance visited on the Democrats for the last 12 years by the republicans will be paid back in the coming months; good or bad it's gonna happen.

Stand by for 24/7/365 non-stop whining.

posted by Jo Fish at 01:11 AM | Comments (0)



Wednesday, January 3, 2007

If his lips are moving...

Or Karen Hughes' pen/word processor, HE'S LYING!. The Bunnypants Soliloquy, or as we call it here at the Fish Farm, The BS, taken at face value or however, includes such laugh lines as:

Together, we have a chance to serve the American people by solving the complex problems that many don't expect us to tackle, let alone solve, in the partisan environment of today's Washington. To do that, however, we can't play politics as usual. Democrats will control the House and Senate, and therefore we share the responsibility for what we achieve.

In the days and weeks since the November elections, I have been encouraged by the productive meetings I've had with many of the new leaders in Congress from both parties. I am hopeful we can find common ground without compromising our principles.

Translation: I go to bed every night and think about bitch-slapping that fucking dog into next week. Barney better watch out too. How in the fuck did Turdblossom cost me my rubber-stamp congress? Goddamn, I need a drink.

Then there's always 9/11, that old reliable standby:

I believe that when America is willing to use her influence abroad, the American people are safer and the world is more secure.
Well, fuck, those guys at Powerline and Huge Hewitt still believe that shit...
The outcome of the elections has changed the balance of power in Congress, yet the priorities for keeping our country safe and prosperous go beyond party labels.

Our priorities begin with defeating the terrorists who killed thousands of innocent Americans on September 11, 2001--and who are working hard to attack us again. These terrorists are part of a broader extremist movement that is now doing everything it can to defeat us in Iraq.

Motherfucking Hippies, if they die at the hands of some Jihadi, who cares? I told them about 9/11 and how it changed everything. Had me a war and made my Daddy look the fool. All he got was a 90% approval rating for winning, I got me some pearl-handled revolvers! Saddam Specials! Yeeeeehaw!

Of course who can forget the Double-Secret Imperial Presidency, with more collected secrets than J. Edgar Hoover's couturier?

My principles are no secret.
Heh, heh, but goddamn nearly everything else in my administration is. You on that No-Fly list yet, boy? Heh heh. We're making shit up just to classify it and drive the Democrats fucking nuts for the next two years.

All in all, it' classic Wrecks-All Wrangler: an alleged "Op-Ed" that's All Hat and No Cattle. Well, maybe just a little Mad Cow.

posted by Jo Fish at 04:26 PM | Comments (0)



Sunday, December 31, 2006

Saddam the Dead

No tears from me for Saddam. But his death was not worth the life of a single American service man or woman. Sorry. It just wasn't.

I realize that Preznit Six-Shooter had to get his war on, and that he was aided and abetted by all manner of folks who were either ideologically aligned with the Neo-Con doctrine of "We're Number One!" or were being WarFloggers to make a buck or a million off the drive to oust Saddam. But at the end of the day, the overthrow of Saddam and the sale of purple ink to whatever passes for the Federal Elections Commission in Iraq is pretty meaningless.

As the death toll inevitably climbs higher, the execution of Hussein becomes less meaningful in a historical context except as a means to martyr him to the Sunni Arab world. They might not have loved Saddam, but he was one of them. Oh, and did I mention that Sunni's are the largest sect of Islam outside of Iraq? No? Well, consider that for a moment.

If the revisionists in the 1600 Crew write their final chapter to their self-perceived righteous invasion of Iraq, they will probably have the Decidering Wrecks-All Wrangler-in-Chief going over there to personally shoot Saddam with the captured six-shooter he displays in the Oval Office with the delight of a child with a shiny toy.

Now kids, THAT'S show business.

posted by Jo Fish at 05:55 AM | Comments (0)



Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year

Every year on January 1st, we start off with the hope that what's to come will be better than what's happened.

In FantasyLand errr... the 1600 Crew they are defining new ways to stretch both logic and reason into the New Year. Preznit Empty Head's toady Frances Frago Townsend made a gen-u-winely Bushly statement recently:

Five years after the Sept. 11 attacks, Osama bin Laden is still at large -- but that's not a failure of White House policy, says Frances Fragos Townsend.
HENRY: You know, going back to September 2001, the president said, dead or alive, we're going to get him. Still don't have him. I know you are saying there's successes on the war on terror, and there have been. That's a failure.

TOWNSEND: Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure.

Because you know, nothing is ever the fault of this administration.

War going badly? Blame the media.
Americans not onboard with the direction of the country? Blame the Democrats.
Popularity in the dumper? Again, the media whipping-boy strawman.

Can't find Osama? Well that's a success that just hasn't occured yet.

You know, so is my winning the lottery. But at least I'll admit that's in the realm of fantasy. Right up there with having a five-way with the Swedish Bikini Team for life.

posted by Jo Fish at 05:45 AM | Comments (0)



















usdemvet -at- hotmail.com
or
usndemvet -at- usdemvet.com (coming soon)






All the original material © 2002-2003 Jo Fish
steal what you want, all I ask is an attribution of some sort
Thanks